Wheelz Online

Wow, When i commented on Dvorak a few weeks ago, I thought it would be over and done with very quickly, but searching round the blogsphere it looks like he annoyed a lot of people. One of the funniest replies i’ve see so far include this article from And All That Malarky

“With thirty designers and developers working together on a single CSS file, we have a page worthy of the mighty John C. Dvorak”

Andy Clarke has decided to let loads of readers collaborate on a single stylesheet to see what comes of it. Good luck to him and its good to see people who know what they are talking about trying to set Mr Dvorak straight on a few things.

Finally on this subject check out Molly’s letter to the man himself.

Now onto the friday funny. I was looking around the net for some reason i forget and i came across some interesting anagrams - now here for you to look at. Have a good weekend all.

• Dormitory = Dirty Room
• Evangelist = Evil’s Agent
• Desperation = A Rope Ends It
• The Morse Code = Here Come Dot
• Slot Machines = Cash Lost in ‘em
• Animosity = Is No Amity
• Snooze Alarms = Alas! No More Z’s
• Alec Guinness = Genuine Class
• Semolina = Is No Meal
• A Decimal Point = I’m a Dot in Place
• The Earthquakes = That Queer Shake
• Eleven plus two = Twelve plus one

I found this little piece of humourous writing this week which I thought would be good to go on here.

German scientists dug 50 meters underground and discovered small pieces of copper. After studying these pieces for a long time, Germany announced that the ancient Germans 25,000 years ago had a nationwide telephone network.

Naturally, the British government was not that easily impressed. They ordered their own scientists to dig even deeper. 100 meters down, they found small pieces of glass, and they soon announced that the ancient Brits 35,000 years ago already had a nationwide fibre net.

Israeli scientists were outraged. They dug 50, 100 and 200 meters underground, but found absolutely nothing…

They concluded that the ancient Hebrews 55,000 years ago had cellular telephones.

Archeologists I think are the recipients of the biggest pranks in human history.  They think they know what happened thousands of years ago, but if any of the olden day people had the same mischevious streak that I have they would all be sitting round thinkin “If we bury this wing we’ve made, then in thousands of years time people will think we could fly”  Good for a giggle.  I like to think so.

I suffer from hayfever and I don’t mean ’suffer’ as in a few sniffles. I get it BAD! I’ve tried every type of pill and spray known to man and still for a few months every summer I feel like I should be 6 feet under and pushing up the daisies. One of the effects of this is that I can’t sleep at night so I end up watching really bad late night tv.

This year, I’ve come across ITV’s new quiz show The Mint Essentially, what the idea of this is, is to get members of the public to call into the show on the hope that they will be selected to go through to the program and take a guess at the answer to a question. These questions could have hundreds of potential answers, but hundreds of people do this at 60p a call to usually get it wrong. Why am I talking about this? well…

Each night they have two presenters on the show. These people are very good at getting the viewer to part with their money. They take a ‘call’ maybe once every 3 minutes and just talk and chat for the rest of the time. I’ve never seen anything like it. I salute them.. Bev French, Brian Dowling (Yes, the same guy who won Big Brother 2) et al.

Anyway here’s the friday funny.

“A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money. The old guy fingered his worsted wool vest and said, “Well, son, it was 1932. The depth of the Great Depression. I was down to my last nickel. I invested that nickel in an apple. I spent the entire day polishing the apple and, at the end of the day, I sold the apple for ten cents. The next morning, I invested those ten cents in two apples. I spent the entire day polishing them and sold them at 5 pm for 20 cents. I continued this system for a month, by the end of which I’d accumulated a fortune of $1.37.

“Then my wife’s father died and left us two million dollars.”

On a final note today, I am going to start trying to talk more about my leap into my own business soon.

Whilst thinking of what to write this week, I decided that to lighten this site up, every friday I will post a joke or observation which has made me laugh. This weeks is about a Parrot and a man

For christmas Andrew recieved a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird’s mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity. Andrew tried to change the parrots talking by only saying polite things infront of him, playing soft music and anything else he could think of.

Finally, Andrew was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. Andrew shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even ruder. In desperation, he threw up his hand, grabbed the Bird and put him in the freezer. For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed. Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a minute. Fearing that he’d hurt the parrot, Andrew quickly opened the door to the freezer. The Parrot calmly stepped out onto Andrew’s outstretched arms and said

“I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I’m sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behaviour.”

John was stunned at the change in the bird’s attitude. As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behaviour, the bird continued,

“May I ask what the turkey did?”